Dilemma…

I’m having a bit of a dilemma….

I want to cut my hair. No surprise there right??  Well, I want to cut it and then I don’t want to cut it. It’s like that feeling you get after you’ve started a new diet and you’ve eaten half of the food on your plate and you shouldn’t eat the rest, but you really really want to. It’s similar to the confusion you feel after hearing you’re getting a gift, receiving the gift, and hating it…lol

I don't know what I was laughing at...

It’s that type of problem: I want to go natural, scratch that, I’m going natural and in an attempt to give myself a bit more time to think the transition through, I put my hair in twists. I had planned on wearing these twists for three months.

However this task is proving to be much harder than I had originally intended. Everyday I fight the “take them out and run to the barbershop” feeling.

I have been dreaming about what I will look like with short hair. I wonder if I will walk differently, if my smile will be wider. I wonder if I’m going to want to crawl under a rock and kill myself. Maybe I’ll go right out and buy the first lace-front wig I see….lol…Me-who hates wigs and weaves…hmm…I just wonder.

I told myself at the beginning of the week I will transition until the end of the year…then shortly after that declaration I changed it to the end of the month. Right now at this very moment…I want to do it now…But I’m at work and they might think I was a tad bit unprofessional if I began to remove my twists right here at my desk.  Although the image of unraveled extensions pieces cluttered all over my work desk would make for a good experiment on employee -work place boundaries….hmmm..

I have a saving grace though…taking these twists out requires time and effort and if I remove them I will be forced to do my hair…this thought is both good and bad. If I do my hair I may cut it off, then again, I may not…

I don’t know what will happen, but I don’t want to keep using these twists as a crutch…thus…my dilemma….

What do you think?