Shock Treatment…

Recently I sat down and ate a whole bag of chocolate Hershey’s kisses,

well technically I had a little under half a bag, but eating 15-20 kisses is still no shining accomplishment by any stretch of the imagination.

Now for those of you that know me know that I love chocolate, but you also know that I am also trying to lose weight, albeit somewhat unsuccessfully it would seem. So as I reached into the bag to grab the last two chocolate kisses I froze and my eyebrows bunched together in deep thought…

How had I gotten to this point?? How in the world had I sat an ate kiss after kiss after kiss after kiss after kiss?? I looked sadly at the little heaping pile of bead-sized silver foiled wrappers glistening against the light and I looked at the empty bag and shook my head.

As women, we have what I call “black hole days” where no matter what it is we are eating, how much we have eaten or the time of the last meal we find ourselves incapable of that highly sought after full feeling. It’s a funny sight and an annoying occurrence to the individual. I can’t tell you how aggravating it is to know that you have been to the kitchen 3 times in the last 3 hours and still feel like you are starving….smh..it really baffles the mind sometimes. However, I was not experiencing a black hole day….So why did I eat all the kisses?

Because I bloody well wanted to!! I’ve always wanted to say that..lol..I think part of my mind turned into a race…a race to the bottom of the bag where no kisses would remain. I begin an unspoken battle to finish the bag. It was kind of like that urge you have in back of the mind to clear your plate at a restaurant or at someone’s house so they don’t feel like you didn’t like their food….hmmmm…..Sad?? Yes, it absolutely is! But until they invent a small current of shock to prevent these massive food binges and lapses in food judgment…I will remain a victim of good food and in pursuit of a full stomach….lol..

…..I also still ate the last two kisses…smh,,,but I’m sure a strong current would have stopped me! Where is that shock treatment when you need it?

Have you had a “OMG, I can’t believe I ate the whole thing” moment? What did you do about it?

Home-wrecking Flirters….

I love to flirt. Flirting is fun. There isn’t anything like standing next to a man and coming up with a cute, sexy witty retort to his sly innuendos. I love tossing out a comment that stops a man in his tracts. I love tossing smiles over my shoulders and giving looks that last just a second too long.

Have you ever leaned into someone and then leaned away only to find them leaning back into the empty space you’ve left?

SMH…I LOVE to flirt..well that was at least before  a good friend of mine said very matter of fact-ly one day..”habitual flirters are home-wreckers!”

Home-wreckers?? Now isn’t that a bit a harsh? No, she said. If you flirt with men that are committed, be it to a girlfriend or a wife, you’re a home-wrecker…point, period. End of discussion, she said.

Wait!! No!!! It can’t be. Flirting is just for fun, flirting is just for laughs, flirting is just for kicks…..isn’t it?

She looked at me dead in the eye and said “Is it?”

Hmmmmm…….then a few days later, I had a very interesting conversation with a great guy.  Some how our conversation turned to the topic of flirting and he succinctly said to me  “when your married you flirt with your spouse. When your attached, flirt with your attacher”.

But where’s the fun in that?? I teased.

“The fun is in knowing your not a home-wrecking flirter” Now how in the world would he know that my friend called flirters home-wreckers?  Ummm cue creepy twilight music…..

Then like the super cool guy he is he said he wants a woman that will make him “forget to flirt with any other women” and he wants to be a man that makes his wife or girlfriend forget about flirting with anyone but him….aaaaaaand cue collective girly sigh.

Am I a home-wrecking flirter?? I would like to say no, but I don’t know….Can flirters be home-wreckers?? When is flirting bad? How much flirting is too  much flirting?

Hmmmmmmm…….Tell me what you think?

Cavities

I guess all that hot chocolate has me thinking about candy and all things sweet…lol..

 

He’s sweet.

 

Candy coated cheeks

Mint chocolate flavored lips,

Funnel caked hands-

Rock hard jaw breaker abs under powdered sugar clothes.

 

Chocolate covered raisins in all the right places,

White chocolate teeth,

Strawberry taffy tongue in strawberry now and later cheeks.

Caramel coated marshmallow legs, arms, and feet,

Pixie stick blush,

Chocolate sprinkle eyebrows and eye lashes…

 

Mmmm…he is cavities galore.

 

Yes, this man is Sweeeeet…..

Just a little too sweet for me.

 

Have you every met someone that was too awesome or too good?? Is there a such thing as too good looking, too funny, too nice?? hmmm…what do you think?