Category Archives: My Hair Journey

Are You Me?

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Are You Me?

Melodic ticks

and in clandestine eyes shift to her gait,

to her stride…

one foot carefully placed in front of the other…

this sexy sultry sauntering walk.

One thigh loves on the other as her ankles flirt above her shoes.

Her hips sway drunkenly to the rhythmic rhapsody in her head.

He shoulders sit square,

Her neck resting proudly,

Cradling her head-

Boldly casting light on her hair…

in its natural splendor,

its natural grandeur,

its only true self,

in its only true light.

With her head tilted slightly,

Soft brown eyes staring intently,

High cheekbones standing at attention,

A smirk hinting at seduction,

Nose flaring,

Long lashing flapping,

Honey brown skin whispering,

chanting,

pleading

“Come… kiss me”.

She is who she is,

But who she is

Is not me.

But it is me,

It’s her me,

It’s the new me.

Who is she?

This “her”.

Where was she hiding?

She was just beneath the surface, just below the scalp.

Waiting to emerge,

Only she isn’t new-

She’s the past I never knew.

She’s the me that always was.

And so I watch

Melodic ticks

and in clandestine eyes shift to her gait,

to her stride…

one foot carefully placed in front of the other foot…

these sexy sultry sauntering steps.

And I hear the faint voice of a green friend snidely asking

“Are you supposed to be me?”

And the soft smile of an answer returns

“Pretenders only pretend for so long…”

Its Been Forever!!

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Its Been Forever!!

I would love to say that I have been really super hella busy…but that would be a partial lie. Yes I have been busy, but not too busy to write or blog…

So…I cut my hair on March 2nd and it is now the end of the month (the 30th). I LOVE my hair!! lol!!!! I love the freedom, the empowerment, I love the person I am.

For a moment I felt as though I had become a new person, but it’s not that I became a new person, rather it’s that I began to see the woman that I’d always been that was hiding just below the surface.

Here are a few pics and a poem…Enjoy!

(SN: I promise not to stay away so long. I’ll start posting some of the poems I’ve been working on)

The first two are the most recent…..(actually right now my hair is in long kinky twists- I’m trying out a protective style..lol)…and the other three are shortly after the BC…

 

      Plantation-20120324-00554         120324-221722

Plantation-20120310-00490        Fort Lauderdale-20120316-00499        IMG_8949

Dilemma…

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Dilemma…

I’m having a bit of a dilemma….

I want to cut my hair. No surprise there right??  Well, I want to cut it and then I don’t want to cut it. It’s like that feeling you get after you’ve started a new diet and you’ve eaten half of the food on your plate and you shouldn’t eat the rest, but you really really want to. It’s similar to the confusion you feel after hearing you’re getting a gift, receiving the gift, and hating it…lol

I don't know what I was laughing at...

It’s that type of problem: I want to go natural, scratch that, I’m going natural and in an attempt to give myself a bit more time to think the transition through, I put my hair in twists. I had planned on wearing these twists for three months.

However this task is proving to be much harder than I had originally intended. Everyday I fight the “take them out and run to the barbershop” feeling.

I have been dreaming about what I will look like with short hair. I wonder if I will walk differently, if my smile will be wider. I wonder if I’m going to want to crawl under a rock and kill myself. Maybe I’ll go right out and buy the first lace-front wig I see….lol…Me-who hates wigs and weaves…hmm…I just wonder.

I told myself at the beginning of the week I will transition until the end of the year…then shortly after that declaration I changed it to the end of the month. Right now at this very moment…I want to do it now…But I’m at work and they might think I was a tad bit unprofessional if I began to remove my twists right here at my desk.  Although the image of unraveled extensions pieces cluttered all over my work desk would make for a good experiment on employee -work place boundaries….hmmm..

I have a saving grace though…taking these twists out requires time and effort and if I remove them I will be forced to do my hair…this thought is both good and bad. If I do my hair I may cut it off, then again, I may not…

I don’t know what will happen, but I don’t want to keep using these twists as a crutch…thus…my dilemma….

What do you think?